Sunday, June 13, 2010

Canada the Last Outpost of the Klingon Empire

There is an interesting discussion going on in our colony. It appears that some would have us submit ourselves to the majority rule of the weaklings, those who did not win the sacred Klingon contest of winning the most electoral battles during the electoral wars.

Yes, these battles are hard fought on the ground and in the airwaves, and with the splintering of the tribes, no clear cut victory can be obtained. But that should not lead us to abandon our ways. Never mind what has happened in our homeland, where an unholy alliance has been struck between the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats, in which the strongest tribe must listen and act upon the demands of a much weaker tribe. It as if a plague has struck the homeland and feverish thoughts of ceding to the will of the majority has taken hold on the population, but this will pass and the rule of the strong man will return.

Remember the holy words, "losers don't get to form coalitions." If we were to let the losers make their unholy pacts, the strongman will lose his place and our guiding vision, our strong hand upon the tiller, will be no more. We will be reduced to having to listen to reason and to entertain compromise. No more will we be able to have our way by a show of force and bluster.

Yes, these are troubled times. The members of the Red and Orange tribes are already scheming against us. They talk openly about forming an alliance, but fortunately we can count on the leader of the Red tribe not to give in to the weaklings. His Klingon blood runs strong. He shares our lust for power and our need to dominate and control.

I know that some of you have heard the talk of abandoning the electoral battles altogether. There are some who believe that the winner of the electoral battle should not get all the spoils of victory. Imagine, they would have us count every vote, even those from the loser tribes, and enter them into a magical formula that would tell us who would and who would not sit in the great hall under the gaze of the great chief.

This will never pass as long as we can retain our dominance in the airwaves. As I speak, those who have our desire for riches strong in their hearts are coming together and will take to the airwaves and will denounce every unholy utterance, every abomination against the rule of the strong man and will fight until their dying breath to make sure that power is never shared and that we will always have our will obeyed.

This land is ours. We conquered it first and we will never let it be ruled by those who do not bow down to exalt the presence of a greater power.


(Klingon expression that when loosely translated means, please don't let me drown in my own bullshit)

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